Words Hurt--Words Heal
"The thoughts of the righteous are just, the counsels of the wicked are deceitful. The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood but the mouth of the upright delivers them. The wicked are overthrown and are no more, but the house of the righteous will stand." Proverbs 12:5-7
A little over a week ago, on a Tuesday evening, I decided to stay over on the west side of town instead of making a drive back and forth after work as I had Bible study that evening. Of course, I hadn't finished my study and so decided I would get a bite to eat and work on it. I really felt that God was leading me to go to the McDonald's that was not to far from where I work. I wasn't really craving Micky D's but I went feeling that there must be someone that God wanted me to pray for as that is frequently the case when I feel strongly led to a particular place. So going in and when ordering I was on the look out for "the person" for whom I was to intercede. Then I got to work on my study. I was rather focused until a teenage boy came up to my table and said something like: "I know this may seem out of the blue and weird but I've just been sitting over there wondering what it would be like to have a semi for a mother." Then he just looked at me, as though waiting for me to realize, soak in and react to the fact that he had just told me I was as fat as a rather large truck! (It is maddening that it still affects me and that I cried as I typed those words. But God is ever faithful and I believe using it for good.) I don't remember if I turned back to my study first or he walked away. It was so shocking that it felt as if I was in a dream. I just went back to my study with just a few tears trickling down once in a while, also talking to the Lord about how I should respond. I knew that this was a barb from the enemy but that he had to have permission from my loving Heavenly Father to send such a messenger. In the long or short run, these things are always for my good and His glory. I considered buying something for him but ultimately did nothing but pray. I'm not even sure where he came from or where he went and probably wouldn't recognize him if I saw him again.
After getting settled back into my study fairly well, a man came up to my table! It still felt like a dream and I think I had a mixture of numbness and "What now?" going on in my head. He asked what I was reading. I told him I was doing a Bible study. He wanted to know what it was on. I said 1 Samuel, particularly focusing on the David and Goliath story and about how Israel wanted a king and rejected God. He seemed genuinely interested, encouraging and responded with "Just like today, huh?" I said, "Yes, a lot like today!" (I'm still wondering if there is something I missed from this interchange or if God just wanted me to have a pleasant encounter with a stranger after having an unpleasant one. I'm not sure but hoping/praying that I get all that He has for me to learn.)
Eventually, it was time to leave, I looked around trying to find the people who had approached me but didn't really recognize either. I went out to my suburban, crying and wondering myself how it could have been and could be bad to have a fat mother. I am not as big as a semi but I am definitely overweight. I've been known to spiral into depression in my analytical thinking, in fact I've had a pretty good slippy slide in the past. Thankfully, the Lord prevented that and enabled me to take those thoughts to Him. Though I would like to say that if my body has been a hindrance to anyone ever seeing the love of Christ or knowing Him more, I would beg your forgiveness. I long to honor God with all things, including my body.
So, after calling my wonderful husband to ask for his prayer that I could compose myself and make it to Bible study (which of course in retelling the story to him made me cry worse), I walked in late to class as my superb leader, Julie, is saying: "So what do you do when you hear that voice of condemnation from the enemy? How do you deal with that?" The whole discussion continued to hit right on what had just happened to me. I sat there trying not to cry but inevitably the waters flowed. I tried to hide behind my hair, bowing my head a bit, struggling to put up some sort of barricade to stop the flood but my dear, sweet friend Bari reached out to comfort then Julie reached over and I thought " O great, I have done what I was trying so hard not to do and disrupted Bible study." So I just told 15 to 18 ladies the story of hurtful words by a stranger. God took what Satan meant for evil and turned it into something good. This was so fitting to what we were studying and these women have been praying for this kid. Some day it will be interesting to know how God has answered those prayers.
I went back to McDonald's this last Tuesday feeling that I needed to not be afraid of teenage boys with ugly words and bully tactics nor of going to eat in public alone. Plus, I was prepared to give him a Bible and tell him I and many others were praying for him or whatever the Lord would have me say or do. I sat in the same spot or near it, by the drive through area, near the entrance. This time someone sat in the table behind me. I don't know if this was a deterrence but I wasn't approached this time. I looked for my young bully but was unsure if he was there. I saw a couple of teenage boys across the restaurant, thinking one of them might be the word vaulter but didn't feel that I should approach them. Ian, a brother in Christ, friend, and coworker, who encouraged me greatly, had told me that he would bet it had been a dare and this was verified to me when the two walked out and the boy who didn't possibly look like the one I had encountered , said, with his voice raised for me to hear: "Thar she blows!" I've added him to my prayer list as well, hoping and praying that I will see them in Heaven one day.
I think I've found my Tuesday night pre-study, study place!! Please, join me in prayer for these guys. I would also covet your prayers that I would honor God with my body. Weight has been a struggle since having kids though I had my childhood pudgy years as well. It seems every time I determine to exercise/lose weight something happens as in injury or sickness to knock me down. I do want God to be honored in every area of life. I do want to bring Him joy. He is worthy, faithful and good. He has given me such encouragement through this, many with uplifting words and a super precious card from my husband which he had waiting for me when I got home the from Bible study.
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29
O Lord, may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to You and encouraging to others.
A little over a week ago, on a Tuesday evening, I decided to stay over on the west side of town instead of making a drive back and forth after work as I had Bible study that evening. Of course, I hadn't finished my study and so decided I would get a bite to eat and work on it. I really felt that God was leading me to go to the McDonald's that was not to far from where I work. I wasn't really craving Micky D's but I went feeling that there must be someone that God wanted me to pray for as that is frequently the case when I feel strongly led to a particular place. So going in and when ordering I was on the look out for "the person" for whom I was to intercede. Then I got to work on my study. I was rather focused until a teenage boy came up to my table and said something like: "I know this may seem out of the blue and weird but I've just been sitting over there wondering what it would be like to have a semi for a mother." Then he just looked at me, as though waiting for me to realize, soak in and react to the fact that he had just told me I was as fat as a rather large truck! (It is maddening that it still affects me and that I cried as I typed those words. But God is ever faithful and I believe using it for good.) I don't remember if I turned back to my study first or he walked away. It was so shocking that it felt as if I was in a dream. I just went back to my study with just a few tears trickling down once in a while, also talking to the Lord about how I should respond. I knew that this was a barb from the enemy but that he had to have permission from my loving Heavenly Father to send such a messenger. In the long or short run, these things are always for my good and His glory. I considered buying something for him but ultimately did nothing but pray. I'm not even sure where he came from or where he went and probably wouldn't recognize him if I saw him again.
After getting settled back into my study fairly well, a man came up to my table! It still felt like a dream and I think I had a mixture of numbness and "What now?" going on in my head. He asked what I was reading. I told him I was doing a Bible study. He wanted to know what it was on. I said 1 Samuel, particularly focusing on the David and Goliath story and about how Israel wanted a king and rejected God. He seemed genuinely interested, encouraging and responded with "Just like today, huh?" I said, "Yes, a lot like today!" (I'm still wondering if there is something I missed from this interchange or if God just wanted me to have a pleasant encounter with a stranger after having an unpleasant one. I'm not sure but hoping/praying that I get all that He has for me to learn.)
Eventually, it was time to leave, I looked around trying to find the people who had approached me but didn't really recognize either. I went out to my suburban, crying and wondering myself how it could have been and could be bad to have a fat mother. I am not as big as a semi but I am definitely overweight. I've been known to spiral into depression in my analytical thinking, in fact I've had a pretty good slippy slide in the past. Thankfully, the Lord prevented that and enabled me to take those thoughts to Him. Though I would like to say that if my body has been a hindrance to anyone ever seeing the love of Christ or knowing Him more, I would beg your forgiveness. I long to honor God with all things, including my body.
So, after calling my wonderful husband to ask for his prayer that I could compose myself and make it to Bible study (which of course in retelling the story to him made me cry worse), I walked in late to class as my superb leader, Julie, is saying: "So what do you do when you hear that voice of condemnation from the enemy? How do you deal with that?" The whole discussion continued to hit right on what had just happened to me. I sat there trying not to cry but inevitably the waters flowed. I tried to hide behind my hair, bowing my head a bit, struggling to put up some sort of barricade to stop the flood but my dear, sweet friend Bari reached out to comfort then Julie reached over and I thought " O great, I have done what I was trying so hard not to do and disrupted Bible study." So I just told 15 to 18 ladies the story of hurtful words by a stranger. God took what Satan meant for evil and turned it into something good. This was so fitting to what we were studying and these women have been praying for this kid. Some day it will be interesting to know how God has answered those prayers.
I went back to McDonald's this last Tuesday feeling that I needed to not be afraid of teenage boys with ugly words and bully tactics nor of going to eat in public alone. Plus, I was prepared to give him a Bible and tell him I and many others were praying for him or whatever the Lord would have me say or do. I sat in the same spot or near it, by the drive through area, near the entrance. This time someone sat in the table behind me. I don't know if this was a deterrence but I wasn't approached this time. I looked for my young bully but was unsure if he was there. I saw a couple of teenage boys across the restaurant, thinking one of them might be the word vaulter but didn't feel that I should approach them. Ian, a brother in Christ, friend, and coworker, who encouraged me greatly, had told me that he would bet it had been a dare and this was verified to me when the two walked out and the boy who didn't possibly look like the one I had encountered , said, with his voice raised for me to hear: "Thar she blows!" I've added him to my prayer list as well, hoping and praying that I will see them in Heaven one day.
I think I've found my Tuesday night pre-study, study place!! Please, join me in prayer for these guys. I would also covet your prayers that I would honor God with my body. Weight has been a struggle since having kids though I had my childhood pudgy years as well. It seems every time I determine to exercise/lose weight something happens as in injury or sickness to knock me down. I do want God to be honored in every area of life. I do want to bring Him joy. He is worthy, faithful and good. He has given me such encouragement through this, many with uplifting words and a super precious card from my husband which he had waiting for me when I got home the from Bible study.
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29
O Lord, may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to You and encouraging to others.
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