I Will Testify to God's Grace and Faithfulness
A while back, I was challenged by a young preacher, as were the rest of the Christians sitting in the auditorium, to share my testimony. I was delighted to hear his story of how God drew him unto Himself. It is so cool that God saved a "hungover college student" and has so radically changed his life that he was sent out about a year ago by Desert Springs Church along with 50 adults and over half that many children to plant a new church, Redemption Church in Rio Rancho.
Well, today God is saying remember that testimony blog that you barely started. It is time to finish it. Share your testimony. I am one of those people who sometimes thinks my salvation testimony is boring, especially compared to some of the dramatic testimonies of being saved out of drug addiction or alcohol abuse or right before they were going to commit suicide. For some reason, God, in His great mercy spared me from those things. He called and saved me when I was 6 years old.
I grew up a Southern Baptist preachers daughter. Thankfully, my dad wasn't what people call a "hell-fire and brimstone" type of preacher. I never knew that people had that notion about Southern Baptist preachers until post college years. I had never heard one until I was in college. My dad rarely even raised his voice except for emphasis, though, I vaguely remember him jumping down from the pulpit for some reason but only once. My experience was not that I was scared of Hell. I loved Jesus. I knew God loved me. I don't ever remember not knowing that God loved me. The thing that has changed over the years is the realization of how unlovable I really am. Sin is such an ugly, ugly thing but I know that I am steeped in it. I am so thankful that God saved me from the power of it and will one day save me from the actual presence of it.
I really don't remember the actual moment of my salvation, which causes some people to doubt whether I was really brought into a true relationship with Jesus Christ. How many times I doubted this myself, only the Lord knows. How many times I asked God to save me if He hadn't saved me then only He knows as well. How many times I was told to "nail it down" so that I would have a date to look back on, something to remember. None of that worked for me because they were not acts of faith but acts of doubt. Finally, sometime in my latter college days, I was dating a guy who doubted my salvation because of things in my past, coupled with one of those "hell-fire" preachers at my church for a revival and I was thrown into doubt anxiety!! I think it was the worst I had ever experienced. I was sad. I was mad--telling God, "If You haven't saved me before, why haven't You, I've trusted You, I've prayed enough times." I made an appointment with my pastor, who thankfully did the best thing for me that anyone could have. He told me that he could convince me one way or the other, have me pray another prayer but truly the only one who truly knew my eternal status at the moment was God. Either I was truly God's child and the enemy of my soul was trying to keep me from wholeheartedly following the Lord or I was not in the family of God and He was trying to get my attention. Only God could show me the truth and so Bro. Bill counseled that I devote myself to seeking the Lord. He said it could take moments or days but I needed to pursue Him until I knew one way or the other. It was unsettling counsel to begin with but like I said it was the best counsel and God gave the grace for me to follow it. I did seek the Lord. I cried out, read His word--cried out and read His word some more, Colossians is precious to me because of this time. It took days rather than moments and that irritated me but finally I had to acknowledge that God was indeed God and He could do as He pleased. Graciously, He made known to me that indeed I was His.
Later on I came to realized that many of the times I struggled with doubt was after a time that I had made a deeper commitment to the Lord, often times to a deeper prayer life. But it is near impossible to intercede for someone when you aren't even sure if you are saved yourself. Our enemy is truly sly as a serpent but not wise like our God.
So I would encourage you to seek the Lord, while He may be found. If you don't know Him, ask Him to make Himself known to you. If you are unsure whether you know Him, ask Him to reveal the truth to you. He is ever faithful, abounding in steadfast love and He will He will save you from sin and doubt.
Well, today God is saying remember that testimony blog that you barely started. It is time to finish it. Share your testimony. I am one of those people who sometimes thinks my salvation testimony is boring, especially compared to some of the dramatic testimonies of being saved out of drug addiction or alcohol abuse or right before they were going to commit suicide. For some reason, God, in His great mercy spared me from those things. He called and saved me when I was 6 years old.
I grew up a Southern Baptist preachers daughter. Thankfully, my dad wasn't what people call a "hell-fire and brimstone" type of preacher. I never knew that people had that notion about Southern Baptist preachers until post college years. I had never heard one until I was in college. My dad rarely even raised his voice except for emphasis, though, I vaguely remember him jumping down from the pulpit for some reason but only once. My experience was not that I was scared of Hell. I loved Jesus. I knew God loved me. I don't ever remember not knowing that God loved me. The thing that has changed over the years is the realization of how unlovable I really am. Sin is such an ugly, ugly thing but I know that I am steeped in it. I am so thankful that God saved me from the power of it and will one day save me from the actual presence of it.
I really don't remember the actual moment of my salvation, which causes some people to doubt whether I was really brought into a true relationship with Jesus Christ. How many times I doubted this myself, only the Lord knows. How many times I asked God to save me if He hadn't saved me then only He knows as well. How many times I was told to "nail it down" so that I would have a date to look back on, something to remember. None of that worked for me because they were not acts of faith but acts of doubt. Finally, sometime in my latter college days, I was dating a guy who doubted my salvation because of things in my past, coupled with one of those "hell-fire" preachers at my church for a revival and I was thrown into doubt anxiety!! I think it was the worst I had ever experienced. I was sad. I was mad--telling God, "If You haven't saved me before, why haven't You, I've trusted You, I've prayed enough times." I made an appointment with my pastor, who thankfully did the best thing for me that anyone could have. He told me that he could convince me one way or the other, have me pray another prayer but truly the only one who truly knew my eternal status at the moment was God. Either I was truly God's child and the enemy of my soul was trying to keep me from wholeheartedly following the Lord or I was not in the family of God and He was trying to get my attention. Only God could show me the truth and so Bro. Bill counseled that I devote myself to seeking the Lord. He said it could take moments or days but I needed to pursue Him until I knew one way or the other. It was unsettling counsel to begin with but like I said it was the best counsel and God gave the grace for me to follow it. I did seek the Lord. I cried out, read His word--cried out and read His word some more, Colossians is precious to me because of this time. It took days rather than moments and that irritated me but finally I had to acknowledge that God was indeed God and He could do as He pleased. Graciously, He made known to me that indeed I was His.
Later on I came to realized that many of the times I struggled with doubt was after a time that I had made a deeper commitment to the Lord, often times to a deeper prayer life. But it is near impossible to intercede for someone when you aren't even sure if you are saved yourself. Our enemy is truly sly as a serpent but not wise like our God.
So I would encourage you to seek the Lord, while He may be found. If you don't know Him, ask Him to make Himself known to you. If you are unsure whether you know Him, ask Him to reveal the truth to you. He is ever faithful, abounding in steadfast love and He will He will save you from sin and doubt.
Thank you for posting this, Brenda! I'm one of those who also doesn't know the moment i was saved and people's reactions can be very intimidating for sure. Know that this blog was a true encouragement to me. Miss you and your family lots right now! -- Erin
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment. I'm so glad that it was an encouragement to you!
DeleteLord God, please draw Erin ever closer to You. Encourage her heart, flood her mind with Your gracious truth. Grant her wisdom, courage and endurance to follow hard after You, knowing that You will give her grace and strength to accomplish all that You ask of her. Fill her with all joy and peace in believing so that she will overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit! Thank You for Jesus, thank You for calling and saving us. Help Erin to know how greatly You love her. In Jesus precious name, amen.
Love you!