Christmas Struggles

“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. ” Philippians 2:5-8 ESV  


Every year I struggle with just exactly how to celebrate Christmas. In fact, I probably struggle with how to celebrate every holiday, even birthdays! My husband says that holidays will never be the way that I want them until I'm in heaven! I so badly want them all to be about Jesus and I struggle with how to create that atmosphere for each member of my family.
I remember when I was a freshman in college deciding that I kind of hated Christmas and holidays because I had the misconception that they were supposed to be about family and my family was broken with no hope of being whole. Don't get me wrong, I have an amazing family but divorce happened in my family when I was a teen and it just has consequences. But we had a speaker at the Baptist Student Union who challenged us to read the Christmas story in the Bible every year and ask God to show us something new each year. As I have tried to do this for over 30 years now God has been faithful to bring out a different aspect of the story each time I ask for something new. And I definitely discovered that Christmas is not about family, it is about Jesus!  There is nothing wrong with celebrating with family, in fact, there is nothing wrong with the opposite, not celebrating Christmas at all. God does not command the celebration of any holiday in scripture. The only thing that He does command along these lines is that we remember His death until He comes. The Lord's Supper as we call it: "Do this in remembrance of Me".  The key is "whether we eat or drink or whatsoever we do to do it all for the glory of God". So whether we celebrate with lots of family and friends or have a quiet celebration, or choose to treat that day as any other and just honor God in it, do what God has led you to do for His glory.
Our celebrations have changed over the years as our family has changed.  As a young married couple and when we had young children, we traveled quite often to be with family. We never did Santa, I don't think it even crossed our minds to do so.  I remember so many awkward moments of being in line at a store and the cashier asking my kids if Santa was coming to see them. Of course, they said "No" and the cashier was horrified, trying to console them, telling them that she was sure they had been good enough for Santa to come. How I wish I would have done a better job of redeeming those moments instead of just finding them rather funny. I also remember realizing that we as adults cultivate the "gimme gimme" mentality of children by asking them what they want for Christmas or taking them to tell Santa what they want for Christmas. We cause them to focus on self as though we don't all already have a problem with being self centered. I decided that I would start asking my kids what they wanted to give instead of what they wanted to get. We decided to set a limit of five or ten dollars per gift and everyone in the family would give something to everyone else in the family. We talked about ideas of gifts for each other and went to the store together, dividing up and meeting back at a prearranged spot and time, changing who went with who and going again until all presents were found and hidden under coats so that no one could see what someone else bought for them. We got home with the gifts, made bags with everyone's name on them to divide up the gifts that they were giving and then took our bags to wrap what we had to share. This many times happens the week of Christmas, night before, or even after. We have kept this tradition though we have raised the amount a bit and don't do the shopping all together in one night.  I don't know that my twenty- something girls or my older teen boys remember the whole family shopping as fondly as I do. 
I think the first year we did this was also the first year we didn't get a tree. We usually drove around to lots with trees and picked one out, came home to set it up and eventually had an evening that we trimmed the tree. Sometimes, we had college students over to share that event and sometimes it was just the six of us. Each of us has a bag of ornaments that are ours in particular to put on and for a while I bought everyone an ornament for Christmas so they would each have some to take with them when they eventually left home. Ok, now that I have transgressed, this particular year we discovered that K2 was allergic to Christmas trees. We just rolled down the window at the tree lots and she would sneeze! So no tree that year, instead we built a manger out of some old fence that we had replaced. Everyone took a turn hammering some nails and that is where we placed our gifts. It was a great reminder to me that when “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son” He was laid in a manger as well. Sadly, the manger didn't make the move with us and we haven't built a new one. We have sometimes had a fake tree (given to us and since died) and the manger. Since moving we have gotten a tree once picking one that K2 could stick her nose in and not sneeze!  So the tree does not make Christmas either. It is all about Jesus. (Though I have memories of sitting up late after everyone had gone to bed near the lighted and decorated Christmas tree and thanking God for this symbol of evergreen, everlasting life that He enabled me to have by dying on a tree. Also the lights symbolizing for me that He is the light of my life and the Light of the world.)
The same year, yes it was a big year, God gave me another tradition to help us remember what our celebration is about. Instead of piling all the presents in front of the recipient, we kept the presents in the manger, under the tree or in the designated area and one person picks a present that they want to give. So if it were me I would call my husband or one of the Ks and say, "Because God gave the gift of His Son to me, I can give this gift to you. Will you receive it?" They of course say yes or as in last year one son said something like “sure, irresistible grace compels me” (Got to get some Calvinistic theology/humor in there!) They open their gift, give appropriate thanks and joy and then it is their turn to give a gift. We go through this until all gifts are given and received. Hopefully, all this has somehow refocused us on Christ and the gospel.
Every year we read the Christmas story, usually from the gospel of Luke. But several years ago we started the reading with the above passage because it so accurately portrays what happened in the true reality for Christmas to be realized and there in lies the goal as well; to have this same attitude as Christ of giving of self, giving up my comfort so that others can know Him. Do I do that in decorating, cooking, shopping? Does that lead people worship Jesus? It can if I and they are tuning in and doing all for the glory of God.
I don't yet know what this Christmas will entail. (Yes, I know it is only two weeks away! )We don't have a tree, probably won't because we are saving up to help send our daughters to Belgium to help care for and learn from a godly woman. I am asking God to help me do what will help lead my family to worship Him the most this year.
Father God, how I long for You to be worshipped, for You to be made known this Christmas season and everyday of the year. O that our hearts would be glad in You, longing for You and loving You with all our being for You are worthy. May we love our families, friends and neighbors as ourselves and have the same attitude as Christ. Help us to not get so busy and caught up in the decorating and shopping and eating that somehow we forget You. May we do all that we do because You have called us to it. In Jesus name. Amen
Merry CHRISTmas!