Real Life Picture Lessons

My mother in law died the day before Easter. She literally fought to the death (not in a good way).  It was heart wrenching to watch and still  hurts to think about it but God taught me some really good things as we walked this path with her and her husband. The following is one of the lessons that I learned and wrote during some of the early stages of us really being involved in their care.

I have been learning from the real life pictures that God is giving me in dealing with my mother-in-law and her husband. She has a metastatic malignant melanoma that is at least at a stage 3 of 4, it is an avocado sized lump under her left arm. She sometimes acts as if she doesn't even remember that it is there. We have all agreed that she could not handle any kind of treatment and we don't really know how long God will give her. She probably weighs under 100 by now but insists that she eats when she is hungry. She has Alzheimers at least stage 5 of 7 and she has high blood pressure and a cyst on her ovary. He is also showing signs of dementia and cannot see well. Neither have a legal drivers license but refuse to quit driving. We had to sneak a key to make copies for their house and sneak over while they were gone to disable the car. They have lived in the same house for the 25 years they have been married but just recently told us that they just discovered a door to the back patio that they never knew they had! We just observed him trying to open that same door just 2 weeks before. It is so hard to watch them live and reject the truth about their mental and physical state of being.

Sometimes it is easier, or at least we think it is easier to believe a lie than to face the truth. We try to cocoon ourselves in our own little world of make believe and won't allow God or anyone else to help us be better than what we are. We want to stay where we are comfortable. At least, we think we are comfortable because we have grown so used to ignoring the glaring problem. We have to ignore or lie or something to be able to do nothing about it.

I have been so frustrated and hurt and have wept over the fact that I want to honor and respect these two lovely people. I also want to make sure that they are taken care of and safe and not in danger of hurting themselves or someone else. But because of the lie that they want to live in, it seems so often that these two things are in conflict. They do not want help. They want their independence. They want to be in control. They just don't realize the danger it is for them to pursue that mentality. God has shown me how much I am like them. How often I treat God in the same manner. I don't want to do things His way. I don't want to give up my life. Even though, He has the correct picture of how I am, many times I refuse His help. It has been heartbreaking to watch my little duo and I am sure that it is heartbreaking for God to watch me. He won't force me but He is ever ready to take care of me and lead me in the way everlasting.

O God, Please help me to walk with You, to follow You and listen to You. You always know what is best for me. I am easily deceived. O Father help me to walk in Your truth and know true life. You said that You came to bring us life and life abundant. Please, show us how to live this abundant, God honoring life that is far better than anything we can ask or think.